Back to Basics - by Ashley E. Sweeney

 Back in 8th grade English class, fusty grammarians in drab housedresses and sensible shoes hammered parts of speech into our brains. Remember diagramming sentences? Scouring the dictionary for transitive and intransitive verbs? Learning proofreading marks? With all stereotyping aside, it’s the Mrs. Carrizzos of the world that might very well have set us on the path we find ourselves today.

Oftentimes, though, we’re so caught up with publishing and marketing that we don’t take time to review craft. In this column over the next year, we’ll do just that: work on craft.

This month, we’ll review basics—and then dig deeper to see how choosing the right word is our job #1. By identifying heroes and villains in writing, incorporating robust words in our manuscripts, eliminating unnecessary words in our work, and editing productively, our manuscripts—and our readers—will thank us for it.

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PARTS OF SPEECH:

NOUN: A word that indicates a person, place, thing, or idea, i.e. girl, classroom, pencil, satisfaction

PRONOUN: A word used in place of a noun, i.e., she, he, they

 VERB: A word that specifies action, i.e. run, talk, sing

ADVERB: A word that modifies a verb and tells how, when, where, why, how often, or how much, and often ends in – ly, i.e., loudly, strongly, bravely

ADJECTIVE: A word that describes a noun, i.e., experienced, powerful, new

PREPOSITION: A word or group of words that show the relation or position of the noun, i.e., before, alongside, across

CONJUNCTION: A word that connects other words, i.e., and, but, yet

INTERJECTION: A word that indicates surprise, and often ends with an exclamation mark, i.e., Yikes! Wow! Ugh!

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HEROES:

Nouns and verbs are the heroes in writing and form complete sentences in and of themselves. Writing guru Natalie Goldberg, in her iconic Writing Down the Bones, advises writers to name your nouns.

“Be specific,” Goldberg writes. “Not car, but Cadillac. Not horse, but palomino. Not fruit, but tangerine.” By using concrete nouns, you place the reader in the setting.

When selecting verbs, we can also be specific. Goldberg goes on to say, “Verbs are the action and energy of a sentence. Be aware of your verbs and the power they have and use them in fresh ways.”

Take the verb “walk” for example (there are more than 30 synonyms for “walk,” beginning with amble and ending with waddle). By using vivid verbs, you can convey your character’s mood.

Let’s consider the sentence: Anna walks toward the house. 

What kind of house? The blue split-level at the end of the cul-de-sac? The stately mansion on Garden Avenue? The squat adobe squeezed between First Methodist and the Lucky Lady Saloon? 

And how is Anna walking? Does she amble, hobble, or march? Stagger, shuffle, or stride? Or does she tiptoe, trot, or trudge? 

With these specifics, we give our readers two important pieces of information: what is Anna’s mood (verb) and what is her destination (noun).

If we say Anna ambles toward the blue split-level at the end of the cul-de-sac, what picture/mood do you conjure when you read this sentence? By using “amble,” we could assume 1) she’s not in a hurry and/or 2) she might not be looking forward to going home for some reason. By using “blue split-level at the end of the cul-de-sac,” we could assume 1) she probably lives in suburbia and/or 2) she’s from a middle-class family.

Now use the verb “stride” in the second example to “feel” how Anna walks toward the mansion. Use the verb “trudge” in the third example to “feel” how Anna walks toward the squat adobe. See what a difference vivid verbs and specific nouns can make? It’s so much clearer than the original sentence: “Anna walks toward the house.”

VILLAINS: 

Most authors agree the villains in writing are adverbs. Used sparingly, they can be effective. But if you overuse them, you fall into what author Steven King, in his classic book, On Writing, says is the “fear of not being taken seriously; it is the voice of little boys wearing shoe polish mustaches and little girls clumping around in Mommy’s high heels. With adverbs, the writer tells us he or she is afraid he/she isn’t expressing himself/herself clearly, that he or she is not getting the point or the picture across.” Ouch. 

Another caveat about adverbs: Show the reader! Don’t tell the reader! And always use either says (present tense) or said (past tense) for dialog tags instead of using an adverb. For example, have your character slam his fist on the table instead of saying “he said loudly.” Or have your character whisper to her friend instead of saying “she said quietly.” Let your dialog and action show, not tell, how the character speaks.

The same goes for interjections. Using sparingly, they can be effective. But! If you use them, too much, they can be ineffective! Right?!

As to the other parts of speech, use as needed and be intentional in your writing.

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Now let’s turn our attention to our manuscripts and how to edit them, keeping in the forefront of our minds that every word matters. 

Rule #1: Edit with dispassion and ruthlessness

Rule #2: Separate yourself from your work (note to self: your work is not your persona

Rule #3: Seek and be open to critique and advice from early readers

Rule #4: Be brutal in revisions

Gary Provost, in his The Seven Beacons of Excellent Writing, writes: “Don’t think about what you can put in. Think about what you can leave out.”

How to do this? 

First, in your final edit, analyze every sentence by reading aloud. Ask yourself, “How is the flow? Is there a stronger word to use?” Then go to print or online helps—dictionary, thesaurus—and audition new words. Read the sentence aloud again with new choices and don’t stop until you’re satisfied with one sentence before going on to the next. This is a lengthy yet invaluable process. And remember that sometimes the original and simplest word is best.

Once you’re satisfied with word choice, its time to slash away. Unnecessary words bog down a manuscript. The biggest culprits are the articles, a, an, and the, followed by superfluous words, including:

That     Each     Other     Every     More     Yet     Very     Actually     Just     Quite     Really     Rather     Like     Simply     Best     Up     Pretty     Down     See     Which 

How to find them? Search document for culprit words and use online helps such as Scrivener, ProWriting Aid, Grammarly, Autocrit, Word Hippo, or My Word Count. You can often trim your manuscript by 1,000+ words by removing inessential words.

You can, as my editor always points out, “take or toss” any writing advice. In the end, the choice is yours. It’s your story in your words.

Until next time, Happy Writing! 

 

Ashley E. Sweeney is the winner of the 2017 Nancy Pearl Book Award for her debut novel, Eliza Waite. A native New Yorker, she is a graduate of Wheaton College in Norton, Massachusetts, and resides in Tucson. Answer Creek, released in May 2020, is her second novel. Her third novel, Hardland, is set in the Arizona territory at the beginning of the 20th century. It is scheduled for release on September 13, 2022. More about her HERE.

Spring Cleaning - by Kathleen Cook

Spring again! YAY! And with it comes SPRING CLEANING! Oh no … not the dust bunnies behind that huge armoire that you never move, or the attic and garage mess. I'm talking about SPRING CLEANING YOUR OLD BOOKS!

I wrote a book back in 2008 that I rushed to put up on Amazon. It was dismal. When Amazon visitors previewed that one, they didn't care to read my other works. If you are like me, once you put a book up on Amazon it stays there, whether it sells or not (usually not). But what are these books saying about you as a writer? How much have you grown, learned, expanded since then? Has your grammar, syntax, use of passive language, use of clichés, etc., changed since you first published your works? What are passing book browsers learning about you if they only glance at your early works? Believe me, it happens!

I decided last year to review that 2008 work. UGH! The premise and plot were good. The characters needed a facelift but were mostly solid. But by the third chapter, I was screaming at my book, "IF YOU SAY THE WORD "UNFORTUNATELY" ONE MORE TIME, I'LL THROW YOU IN THE WOOD STOVE!!! I opened chapter four and read, "Paul laughed when he heard what he thought was a joke. Unfortunately, Marion's icy stare corrected his error a moment too late." ARRRGGGHHH!

There are a lot of people who believe that once a book is self-published, the author has no right to go in and quietly fix minor mistakes. Baloney. If you are using Amazon's free ISBN instead of your own, then you can upload a new edit any time you wish to revamp your work. You can even make major changes, if necessary. No labeling as a new version is required, and no new ISBN is needed. Even so, you may wish to retire your old book and replace it with a new version. I revised The Sun Always Trumps last year and extended it, so I republished it as a new edition.

If you are using a purchased ISBN number to sell anywhere, then yes, you'll need a new ISBN to change any part of the book. But even so, it may be worth it to retire that old version and publish anew. If an Amazon (or any) passerby judges you by your old works, you want them to see the best you have to offer, not the embarrassing follies of your youth.

You may not have read your old works in years. It's time to do so. Every writer should read their own books again every five years, at least. If those books need a good spring cleaning, then do it before others see the cobwebs they've gathered in too many passive clichés, tired or outdated language patterns, or just too many repeats of that darned, “unfortunately.” 

If you're unpublished, bring out those old manuscripts that you've been meaning to edit. View them with a new eye and the courage to chop them to pieces. As an editor, I've often seen a 600-page bad novel turn into a 300-page great one. If you're an unpublished but inevitable author, get cracking on those old works gathering dust in that armoire, you know, the heavy one you never move.

Spring is a time of renewal, regrowth, and for peeking out from behind the lethargy of winter. Let's face it, we all get lazy over the holidays and winter in general. A cozy fire and a hot cocoa promote inactivity, a time to take in and absorb the year, process it, and turn over a new chapter in your life. But winter is over, and we've already absorbed, processed, and planned our resolutions for the year ahead. Spring is the time to implement those resolutions. 

While I'll be broadforking the garden every morning this spring, the afternoons will be spent with a good old book … my own! What did I get right? What did I get wrong? Time to find out and fix! Happy spring to all of my fellow authors, published or inevitable!

Kathleen Cook is a retired editor and the author of more than twenty books. A former copy writer/editor for Demand Studios, she also served as the Fictional Religion Editor for the ODP (Open Directory Project) in the internet’s early days. She spent twenty years before retirement as a freelance editor, and is currently the Arizona Authors Association editor and website technician. Find out more about Kathleen HERE.