Showing posts with label writing memoirs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing memoirs. Show all posts

Monday, February 22, 2021

MAKE FUN OF YOURSELF - by Kathleen Cook

 I have discovered the joy of being vulnerable, of making fun of myself in writing. The “confessions” genre is very popular, because everyone wants to know that someone else does the same dumb, silly, ridiculous things that they do (but won’t admit). They respect others who can talk about the things that show their foolish side. 

For example, I’ve had strangers phone to tell me how much they loved my article in the newspaper. How they got my number, I’ll never know, but in a small town with only 600 residents, I’m not surprised. They love it when I admit to being a newbie to the rigors of Maine. They guffaw at my descriptions, such as when I wrote: 

During my first October in Maine, I purchased a nice, shiny red snow shovel. Old man winter wasn’t going to catch me napping! My neighbor Bruce came over one day and spotted it sitting in a corner, the $19.95 sticker still attached. He confused me when he said, “Oh, I didn’t realize you had small children. That should be fun for them.” 

It sounded like a joke that lost its punch line. Was the snow so easy to shovel that small children could do it? I’d heard about Maine winters, and that didn’t sound quite logical to me. I explained, “I want to get a jump on the snow. I haven’t seen it in five decades while living in Phoenix, but I’m looking forward to shoveling it for exercise. I suppose we might have some by Thanksgiving, you think?” 

He smirked and said, “We’re late, actually. The first snowfall usually arrives in October.” 

I clapped my hands in amazement! I would get to use my shiny new shovel sooner than I thought. He looked at me and smiled, just like my uncle smiled when, at five years old, I insisted on opening the pickle jar all by myself. Come to think of it, that didn’t turn out too well. Why did I recall that broken pickle jar now? 

Just as Bruce was leaving I asked, “Have you got your shovel out yet, too?” 

He answered, “Yeah, I just put it on today.” 

“Put it on?” 

“Yep, it’s sitting right outside.” 

I looked out and saw a four-foot wide snow shovel (which I later learned was called a snow plow) attached to the front of his pickup truck. He turned back and said, “When you need help with that shoveling, let me know.” He didn’t say “if.” He said “when.” Hmmm. 

Our first snowstorm hit the next week, and it suddenly dawned on me why he had asked if I had small children. I hung that mangled shovel on my wall and called it art, and then nearly broke my neck trudging through the drifts to yell, “Bruce . . . HELP!” 

End Quote. 

When you open up, confess (and even exaggerate, just a little, as I did in the previous passage), you lift your readers’ spirits, make them feel good about themselves (after all, they now think they’re smarter than you are!) and you forge a relationship that allows you, later, to display your acumen without making them feel inferior. Everyone loves to know that while you are smart, they have at least one area of expertise in which you lack knowledge. Eventually, you wind up on an equal footing. 

On the other hand, when you try to dazzle them with your wit right off the bat, you set up a distance between yourself and your reader . . . a distance that may or may not be erased in the future. No one likes a smarty pants. 

Erma Bombeck knew this so well. She once said, “He who laughs, lasts.” It is my belief, (I am sure she shared, it) that the one who makes them laugh, also lasts. Be the one they remember forever, the one that made them laugh by laughing first at yourself. Publicly. With abandon. Without shame. You’ll find yourself laughing, too. 

Kathleen Cook is a free-lance editor and the author of twenty books. A former copy writer/editor for Demand Studios, she also served as the Fictional Religion Editor for the ODP (Open Directory Project). She is currently the Arizona Authors Association newsletter editor.

Sunday, January 3, 2021

The Difference Between Writing Fiction and Non-Fiction by J.Q.Rose

About J.Q. Rose 

Whether the story is fiction or non-fiction, J.Q. Rose is “focused on story.” She offers readers chills, giggles and quirky characters woven within the pages of her mystery novels. Her published mysteries are Deadly Undertaking, Terror on Sunshine Boulevard and Dangerous Sanctuary released by Books We Love Publishing. Using her storytelling skills, she provides entertainment and information with articles featured in books, magazines, newspapers, and online magazines. 

J.Q. taught elementary school for several years and never lost the love for teaching passed down from her teacher grandmother and mother. She satisfies that aspect of her character by presenting workshops on Writing Your Life Story.

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I have written mysteries to entertain readers and myself. Making up a story is so much fun. The writer can write about alien worlds, fantasy, zombies, contemporary romance and no one cares if it's true. Readers are willing to dispel their disbelief and step into the world of make-believe. 

A memoir, also known as creative non-fiction, is so different from writing fiction. The story tells the truth about real life. That is difficult for a fiction writer! A memoir only covers a slice of life, not the entire person's life from beginning to present. 

New release from JQ Rose, get it HERE


I wrote my memoir about the year we moved to Michigan in December 1975 to purchase a flower shop and greenhouse operation. I thought this would be for my kids and grandkids to satisfy their curiosity. Not only to let them know about the "good ole days," but I also wanted to encourage our kids to dream big for their lives. To be entrepreneurs in the greenhouse business was our dream. 

We fell in love with a greenhouse operation in West Michigan, but it was attached to a flower shop. We knew nothing about operating a flower shop, and to be honest, my husband, Ted, had only worked in his little hobby greenhouse. Never in a commercial greenhouse business. We had lots to learn. 

The memoir includes elements of fiction such as character, conflict and setting. The main character in the story is me. The situation provided plenty of conflict with the previous owner. Not knowing a thing about business or floral design created anxiety about whether we could run a successful business. I was also a new mom who was insecure about taking care of a baby and filled with guilt choosing to go to work rather than staying at home with her. The setting was a small town, exactly like the ones in my mysteries, Deadly Undertaking and Dangerous Sanctuary. 

I have penned two novels based on my life story. Arranging a Dream: A Memoir is my true story. I interacted with real people in a real town, but I changed some of their names to protect their privacy. 

Deadly Undertaking
is based on my life experience. The setting of this romantic suspense is a funeral home. My dad was a funeral director. Many of the jobs I mentioned in the story are ones I did for my dad, such as dusting caskets, running errands and helping my mom set up flowers for visitations and church services. ( a foreshadowing of my future in the flower business??) But there was no murder or Henry the Shadow Man in my real life! 

I enjoyed writing both books, but the deep dive into looking back at my real life through the perspective of time proved to identify truths that I had never realized until I completed the book. The journey of writing a life story may be a difficult one, but a better understanding of one’s life brings satisfaction and a sense of wrapping up the loose ends in that period of life, similar to the satisfaction when reading the closing pages of a captivating fictional book.

Based on the lessons taught in her workshops, JQ created a book, Your Words, Your Life Story: a Journal for Sharing Memories to help life storytellers write, publish and market their stories. Find it on Amazon HERE


If you would like to write or record your life story/memoir, check out the Facebook Group, Telling Your Life Story and Memoirs Circle for encouragement and ways to spark memories. 

Aso find J.Q. Rose's page at BWL Publishing - Amazon - BLOGFB